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What’s the deal with hockey?

Posted by keithosaunders on May 28, 2011

Watching a hockey game is like sitting in on a meeting of a secret society that you are not a member of.  You can decipher the gist of what is going on, but you have no idea how the details work, or how they are implemented.

Every few years I’ll go on a playoff hockey watching jag.  This has been one of those years.  I watched a lot of our local San Jose Sharks, who went deep into the playoffs, but were eliminated earlier this week by the Vancouver Canucks.

First of all, let me say that hockey is an amazing sport to watch.  How these guys are able to make pin point passes on skates at break neck speed while being pursued by 250 pound gorillas is beyond me.  And they still have time to fight!

Hockey is a non-linear sport.  Viewing it on television, you never know who is on the rink at any given time.  Think about it — they’re constantly changing lines.  You are at the mercy of the announcers to let know who is on the rink.  In baseball there’s a set lineup — you know where everyone is at every moment of the game.  Sure, in football and basketball there are in-game substitutions, but they occur during breaks in the action.  Hockey players are change on the fly.

How do they know when to change?  The announcers won’t tell me.  They must know — half of them are former players.  I think they don’t want us non-hockey people to be in their exclusive club. 

You have the three-man lines, as wellas the two defencemen.  Do the defencemen work in tandem as pairs, or are they separate entities?  Do they see more ice time than the forwards?  How do they know when to get off the ice? 

These are mere quibbles.  Hockey is a great sport, albeit a perplexing one.  And they have one of the great traditions in sport, in which the players line up after the conclusion of a playoff series and shake hands.  I watched the victorious Boston Bruins shake hands with the Tampa Lightning after tonight’s game 7.  The players appeared to have genuine affection and respect for one another.   Good job out of them.

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Taping’s finest hour

Posted by keithosaunders on April 21, 2011

 This is a great time of year for sports — the baseball season is in full swing and the NBA and NHL playoffs have begun.  The overlap can be overwhelming, but thanks to the miracle of the DVR, taping multiple ongoing events is a reality, making it possible for the sports fan to live the dream.  Of course, even with modern technology all it takes is for one caveman to spoil your evening by divulging the score of a taped event.  There are numerous other pitfalls to avoid as well.  Here then is a recounting of one of my most successful taping days:  This past Sunday, the 17th, in the year of our sports god 2011.

 
I had a gig, but wanted to see game two of Rangers/Captitals, and Knicks/Celtics, as well as catch the end of Rockies/Cubs.  As long as I was already taping the Knicks, I figured I may as well set the DVR to record the second half of the NBA doubleheader, Nuggets/Thunder.  The baseball Giants were playing, but I knew they would be on the TV at the bar I was gigging at, so I opted not to record their game.

When I started the car, I turned on the Giants game on the radio to hear the 9th inning — they were leading the Diamondbaks 5-4 at the time.  The first thing out of Jon Miller’s mouth was,  “It’s over in Colorado….”   Quick as a cat, I whipped my hand to the radio and turned off the volume, avoiding hearing the score.  I then (carefully) changed the station. 
 
As predicted, the Giants game was being shown on the TV at the bar.  It was an extra inning game and I was thinking, “good, let it go 20 innings and they’ll never change it to the Knicks)  BUT…by the first break the game had ended and the Knicks was on one TV, and Sportscenter was on the other.  Fortunately I live in a town where people don’t give a rats ass about any teams other than the locals, so I was in little danger of anyone commenting on the games.  What’s more, this fellow ex-New Yorker sax player came in.  He had also taped the Knicks and he warned me not to tell him anything.  Me, spoil a taped event?!  Did he realize who he was talking to?
 
At one point I accidentally looked at the TV showing Sportscenter  and of course the Rockies/Cubs highlights were on, but miraculously I didn’t see the score.
 
The rest of the night passed without incident and I arrived home to savor my spoils.  I stayed up late watching everything except for the second half of the Denver game, but I finished watching it the following day at lunch without knowing the ending. 

And that’s how you record multiple events.

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Play card baseball

Posted by keithosaunders on March 19, 2011

Back in 1945 my Dad served in the army during WW Deuce — the big one.  He was on a transport ship going overseas to Japan when the atomic bombs were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.  The war was over and he ended up serving in the occupation.

On his way back to the States somebody in his platoon came down with hepatitis and the entire company had to be quarantined for a week before being allowed into the general populace.  Dad had a lot of time to kill, and he ended up inventing a card football game.  It was a pretty cool game, not only for its simplicity, but for its proximity to a real football game.  He had it all figured out — passes, running, interceptions, fumbles, and kickoff returns. 

A few years later he showed the game to my uncle, who was friends with the publisher of Esquire magazine, and the game ended up being written about in one of the issues.  It was impossible to copyright the game because anybody could play it — all you needed was a deck of cards and some free time.

He subsequently invented card baseball and card basketball.  He even invented a card boxing game but that one was a little silly.  All you needed was four cards of the same color to come up in a row and it was a knockout.  That was the entire game!  Still, we would make him play and announce match after match, and his faux-boxing announcing had us in hysterics. 

When I was around 12 years old he showed all of the games to me and I was instantly hooked.  I would spend a day or two scheduling an entire football season.  I followed the same system as the NFL — 14 game seasons (at that time) and you play the teams in your division twice.  I made a schedule for each team in the NFL and I would play every single game, plus the playoffs and Super Bowl.  The games took about 20 minutes to play so I could knock off the entire week’s worth of games over the span of three or four days. 

With baseball and basketball there were too many games to play every team, so I would pick a team — the Dodgers with baseball, and the Lakers for basketball — and I would make a schedule for them.  These were also patterned on the real life NBA or MLB schedules. 

I’d be in my room by myself, flipping those cards, announcing the game out loud in the style of Vin Scully or Chick Hearn.  I was out of my mind, but I had a ball.  It became part of my routine and I kept playing year after year. 

I played those card sports games well into my adulthood, finally giving them up around the time I moved back to Manhattan from Brooklyn in 1987.  I don’t remember making a conscious decision to stop — I gradually petered out.  I suppose I finally became an adult, or at least a semblance of one. 

Last week I downloaded an iphone app called 9 inning Pro Baseball.  The game allows you to pitch, field, and hit, and the app enables you to play entire seasons.  Ironically I seem to be stuck with the Yankees as my team since I am unable to figure out how to switch to another team.  Otherwise I would be the Mets.   

It’s a fun game, but right now I’m terrible at it.  I can pitch OK, but I can’t hit worth a lick.  My team must lead the league in strikeouts and men left on base.  Hopefully there is a learning curve and I will improve enough to make the season interesting, but right now I’m floundering at 2-7.  On the bright side, at least the Yankees will not make the playoffs.  Hopefully life will imitate fantasy this season.   

Dad

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Homestretch

Posted by keithosaunders on March 13, 2011

The onset of daylight savings time draws us one critical step closer to that approaching nirvana which is the baseball season.  I refer to the period that we are in now — between the Superbowl and the beginning of the NCAA Tournament — as the dog days of winter.  It is a time of meaningless midseason NBA and NHL games, and mind-numbing spring training reports out of the Cactus and Grapefruit leagues.  

This is the time of year when we learn that Pablo Sandoval has arrived in spring training in the best shape of his life, a refrain, by the way, that Mets fans became initmate with for the duration of Sid Fernandez’s career.  It is also the time of year when we tune in to such television fodder as Battle of the Network Superstars, Tractor Pulls of the Rich and Famous, and Great Moments in Mormon Sports history. 

Now, however, we are into the homestretch.  Tonight we have the NCAA selection show, followed by a four-day respite from compelling TV, before the beginning of the Big Dance.  

I look at the NCAA Tournament as a kind of suspension bridge which takes us out of the winter doldrums into the excitement and promise of a new baseball season.  It’s a great diversion, allowing us to focus on something other than who will be the Mets fifth starter, or whether or not Jason Isringhausen will make the big club.

For the next eighteen days I’ll be glued to my TV and Twitter feed rooting for upsets.  Let’s go St Johns, George Mason, and Ferris Bueller State!    

Justin Brownlee

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Clusterfuck of the stars

Posted by keithosaunders on February 23, 2011

I remember when sports used to be fun.  You rooted for your team year in and year out and for the most part it had the same cast of characters – turnover was gradual.  Growing up in Los Angeles, come spring we could count on the Dodgers fielding an infield of Garvey, Lopes, Russell and Cey.  In the fall we would look forward to seeing Jack and Jim Youngblood anchoring the Rams defense; a few years before that it was Deacon Jones and Merlin Olsen.

These days it is rare to have a core group of players playing for the same team for a sustained period of time.  Recently we’re seeing a trend of high-profile players, who through collusion, or the desire to play for a championship team, have managed to find a way to circumvent the NBA’s salary cap and play for the same team. 

We’ve seen this for years with the New York Yankees and Boston Redsox.  Players such as Roger Clemens or David Cone would come to New York after denying trades to other teams in order to pick up their ring.  (the Yankees didn’t win a Series with Johnson, largely because he was terrible in the playoffs)

Last year, when Lebron James announced he was leaving Cleveland for South Beach, and Chris Bosh followed suit from Toronto, I said to myself, “this stinks on ice.”  How great would it have been had Lebron stayed in Cleveland and brought them to the promised land?  He would have been an all time hero.  Instead his ring will be reduced to the staus of foregone conclusion.

With yesterday’s blockbuster trade of Carmelo Anthony to the New York Knicks we have a grouping of stars that is as puzzling as it is annoying.  Why would a team that is second in the league in scoring trade for another offensive player?  The Knicks can’t rebound and play defense – now they have mortgaged their future for a one-dimensional player who is anything but a proven winner. 

It turns out that last summer, at Anthony’s wedding, New Orleans Hornets point guard, Chris Paul, made a toast in which he suggested that he, Amare Stoudemire, and Anthony team up in New York.  Two thirds of that ring-seeking triumvirate are in place.   

Carmelo Anthony

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One night in East Rutherford

Posted by keithosaunders on January 23, 2011

The date:  January 22nd, 1987.

The location: East Rutherford, New Jersey

The weather:  Blizzard

My friend and occasional guest blogger, Jeff, had tickets to the new Jersey Devils game versus the Calgary Flames.  It was a midweek night game and the plan, as per usual, was to meet him in Washington Heights at 5PM.  Jeff lives in the Bronx and at that time worked in Manhattan, while I was living in Brooklyn.  Rather than go back to the Bronx, which was out-of-the-way, Jeff had parked uptown very close to the entrance to the George Washington bridge. 

By the time five o’clock rolled around there was already a foot of snow on the ground and it was still coming down hard.  Jeff and I were young and fearless and we weren’t going to let a little weather stand in the way of  seeing the Devils and Flames bang and smash each other into submission.

Jeff had snagged the all-time classic blizzard parking spot.  He was at the end of the street facing downhill so he didn’t have to dig out of his spot — all he had to do was ease into traffic, make a right turn and we were on the bridge crossing the state line.  Once we hit the Jersey Turnpike the traffic came to a dead halt.  It was practically white out conditions and it was rush hour to boot. 

We inched along wondering if we would miss the start of the game.  We arrived at Byrne Arena an hour and a half later —  a half hour after the scheduled start —  but we soon discovered that the game was being delayed since many of the players were stuck in the same traffic!

When we entered the arena we found that we had it practically all to ourselves.  There were only 334 people who showed up!  An announcement was made inviting us to sit anywhere we pleased so we moved up to the front row behind the Flames penalty box.  The anthems were dispensed with due to the late start and the banging and smashing commenced.

I’ll never forget the strange feeling of being inside of a 20,000 seat arena with so few people inside of it.  It was like being at a practice.  The sound of the players being checked into the boards reverberated throughout the building like thunder and we could hear the players shouting at each other. 

At one point  the Flames designated goon, Nick Fotiu, received a five-minute major penalty.  As the PA announcer said, “five minutes,” Jeff waved the Daily News at him and asked him if he’d like to read the paper while he’s in there.  He actually turned around and threw a menacing glared our way.  It was scary so we moved up a few rows and kept a lower profile.

On the way home the snow had stopped after depositing two feet and the temperature had dropped into the teens.  There were abandoned cars that had spun into snow banks all over the Turnpike.  When we reached my house in Brooklyn the lock on my front door had frozen so Jeff climbed in through one of the unlocked windows and was able to open the door from the inside.

While we were at the game someone from the Devils P.R. office had circulated a sign in sheet asking us to fill out our address.  Two weeks later we received Devils t-shirts in the mail that said, ”The 334 Club”  I wore mine for years until it disintegrated –  I believe Jeff still has his.  Four years ago. on the 20th anniversary of the blizzard, the Devils honored the 334 fans who attended that infamous game by giving us free tickets and inviting us to a post game banquet.  Jeff and I attended that game. 

Here I am 24 years later in Berkeley, California, where it was 67 degrees today.  It’s hard to believe that I attended a game in a blizzard at a time when the Devils were perennial cellar dwellers.  I’m glad I did.

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April 10th, 1984-August 7th, 2010

Posted by keithosaunders on August 8, 2010

Keitho has left the building.  On Saturday, after a week of heartfelt goodbyes, going away parties, and more tears than a Terms of Endearment 30th year anniversary revival, we have left New York City.  I was glad that my last memory was of the Northern Blvd Best Buy — it will lessen the nostalgia.  Around 2:30 PM we crossed the George Washington Bridge into New Jersey thus concluding my life in New York City.

I remember my first night in New York some 26 years ago.  I stayed with my cousin who had an apartment at the Esplinade Hotel on West End Ave and 74th st.  It was a cold, rainy night, and I was holed up in his bedroom.  He was working late so I was by myself, or so I thought. 

 I had this clock radio that a neighbor had given me as a going away present.  It still works — we keep it in our upstate house.  I turned the radio on and tuned to a Rangers-Islanders playoff game.  Not that I gave a rats ass about hockey in those days, but I was so excited to be in New York that I would have listened to Ed Koch reciting the Gettysburg Address had it been on.  (I should note that these days I have a much greater appreciation of hockey and intend to root on my San Jose Sharks….doesn anyone even know the way to San Jose?)

So I’m listening to this game and it’s the second overtime.  All of a sudden the Islanders scored to win the game and  I heard this blood curdling scream emanating from the adjacent bedroom.  I can’t begin to describe the agony and utter despair that was contained in that five second outburst, but suffice it to say that I had never heard anything like it.  It was like a dying wildebeest going though heroin withdrawal while giving birth to twins.

I smiled and thought, “Now, I’m in New York!”

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The hype, it burns!

Posted by keithosaunders on June 8, 2010

You know I actually feel a little sorry for Stephen Strasburg.  He’s got to live up to hype of Superbowlian proportion. Imagine if he allows three runs in the first inning — the media will be calling for his head.  I would be surprised if ESPN, which if I’m not mistaken has a three-hour pregame show, has not come up with Academy Awards style music to lead in and out of the commercials.

At any rate, once this all dies down, between Strasburg, yesterday’s #1 draft pick Bryce Harper, and a few good trades, the Nats should be a good team for the foreseeable future.

Posted in baseball, sports | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Keitho’s Superbowl memories: Superbowl XI — I was there!

Posted by keithosaunders on February 7, 2010

I went to Super Bowl XI.  It was the Minnesota Vikings 4th quixotic appearance and they played John Madden’s Oakland Raiders at the Rose Bowl.  The Vikings had won their division eight out of the past nine years and had been to the big game three times.  Each time they were soundly defeated.  The Kansas City Chiefs, the Miami Dolphins, and the Pittsburgh Steelers had taken their turns at a Viking smackdown.  This was the Raider’s second trip, having lost Superbowl II to the legendary Green Bay Packers. 

When we arrived at our seat we found that O.J. Simpson and Franco Harris sat 6 rows above us.   Both were still NFL players.  Little did we now that O.J. would one day change history, forever altering our perception of freeway chase.  Back then he was known as a great running back and pitchman.

 Early in the game the Vikings had a chance to draw first blood when they blocked a Ray Guy punt, recovering it at the Raiders 3 yard line.  They proceeded to fumble  the ball right back to the Raiders and shortly thereafter the rout was on.  Fred Biletnikoff caught three touchdown passes and the Raiders rolled to a 32-7 win.

We had parked at the house of the district attorney of Los Angeles — a friend of my Uncle’s –  two blocks from the Rose Bowl.  After the game we discovered that we had been parked in by a Chevy Nova and my crazy cousin, never one excercise patience, became so upset that he keyed the guys car.  He was like a caged animal and we stared in rank amazement as he vandalized a strangers car. 

That was the first and only Superbowl I went to.  There was no rock-star halftime show, no full body cavity search upon entering the arena, and no MVP prattling on about Disneyland in the post-game interview.  Just a bunch of crazed, over-sized freaks playing a kid’s game without even the aid of an instant replay booth review.

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Super Bowl memories:

Posted by keithosaunders on February 3, 2010

I watched Super Bowl XII — Cowboys vs Broncos — with my Dad and my then-girlfriend, Lauri, who surprised us by knowing an unusually large amount about veteran quarterback Craig Morton.  That game featured Denver’s “Orange Crush” defense vs Dallas’ “Doomsday” defense.  Dallas won in a rout: 27-10.   

In 1980 I had a gig with the great drummer, Roy McCurdy, at a jazz club in Malibu — Pasquale’s – and the band watched the game in the bass players apartment above the club.   The Steelers were playing in their 4th Super Bowl and this was the L.A. Rams only Super Bowl.  (As the St. Louis Rams thy played in two more in the 90s.)  The Rams acquitted themselves well and were actually winning to start the 4th quarter when Terry Bradshaw and receiver John Stallworth took over the game.  Final: 31-19 Steelers.

Five years later I would watch Super Bowl XIX — 49ers vs Dolphins — with saxophonist Richie Cole on Widby Island, which is off the coast of Seattle in Washington State. We were on tour and were off that night.  Friends of Richie’s had a place and agreed to put us up so we took a short ferry ride to the island and watched Dan Marino’s only ever Super Bowl performance.  Another rout.  Final: 38-16 49ers.

Posted in football, jazz, sports, Super Bowl | Leave a Comment »

 
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